least their hearts and lungs, while we waited to see whether their brain trauma (through injury, haemorrhage, tumour or surgery) would settle. This was an epiphanal time for me; my helplessness was a ‘touching point’ with the helplessness of others who temporarily or more permanently inhabited that liminal space. In subsequent years, working in hospital, hospice or community settings, the most significant question for me in supporting others at times of loss and transition has become, can I wait